All self-checks

What Is My Attachment Style? A Science-Based Self-Check

Attachment theory is one of the most extensively researched frameworks in psychology. Originally developed by John Bowlby in the 1950s and expanded by Mary Ainsworth through her groundbreaking "Strange Situation" experiments in 1978, it describes how early bonding experiences shape the way we connect with others throughout life.

In 1991, Kim Bartholomew and Leonard Horowitz published their four-category model of adult attachment, which identified four styles: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. This model has been validated across cultures and remains one of the most widely used frameworks for understanding relationship patterns in adults.

Your attachment style is not a fixed label. Research by Fraley and others has shown that attachment patterns can shift over time — through relationships, therapy, and deliberate self-awareness. Understanding your current attachment tendencies is not about putting yourself in a box, but about recognising the automatic patterns that shape how you respond to intimacy, conflict, and emotional vulnerability.

This self-check explores three key dimensions: anxious attachment (fear of abandonment and need for reassurance), avoidant attachment (discomfort with closeness and emotional independence), and secure attachment (comfort with intimacy and balanced autonomy).

How Attachment Styles Show Up in Daily Life

  • Anxious: You frequently worry about whether your partner truly loves you or might leave.
  • Anxious: You need regular reassurance and feel distressed when it is not forthcoming.
  • Avoidant: You feel uncomfortable when relationships become too close or emotionally intense.
  • Avoidant: You value independence highly and may pull away when a partner seeks more connection.
  • Secure: You feel comfortable with both closeness and independence in relationships.
  • Secure: You can communicate your needs directly and respond to your partner’s needs without feeling threatened.
  • Mixed: You may crave closeness but simultaneously fear it — approaching and then withdrawing.

Most people show a blend of attachment tendencies, with one style being more dominant. The goal is not to achieve "perfect" secure attachment, but to understand how your patterns affect your relationships.

Discover Your Attachment Pattern

This self-check is grounded in the four-category attachment model developed by Bartholomew and Horowitz (1991), which built on the foundational work of Bowlby (1969) and Ainsworth (1978). It has been refined using insights from Fraley, Waller, and Brennan’s Experiences in Close Relationships (ECR) scale, one of the gold-standard measures of adult attachment.

Your responses will be analysed across three dimensions to show you where your attachment patterns fall. This is anonymous and takes under three minutes.

Takes about 3 minutes

Disclaimer

This self-check is for informational purposes only and does not provide medical, psychological, or legal advice. It is not a diagnostic tool and should not be treated as a substitute for professional support.